Thursday, December 4, 2008

Un Nuevo Look

I think we'd better take a moment and talk about hairstyle. I noticed the other day that I have Ken hair (circa 1980's). I'm still trying to decide whether this is a good or a bad thing, but in any case it got me thinking about hair. I think there are a number of ways to go with this. A classic choice is the bowl cut. It's easy to do, easy to maintain, and absolutely guaranteed to help you avoid those unwanted social interactions. The Boy has been a fan for a few years now of the 90's wave. It's a little harder to pull off, but it's a go-to look if you're looking for the "wow" factor. Some people will still recommend the mullet, not realizing that like cigarettes, wearing the mullet has now been banned in public areas in 47 states (Mississippi, South Dakota, and Tennessee are unfortunate exceptions). The best way to get a cheap, easy, nondescript haircut is to put down your $69.95 and invest in a Flowbee. Invented by San Diego carpenter, entrepreneur, and hair diva Rick Hunts, the Flowbee combines the best attributes of a vacuum cleaner and a set of hair clippers to form the ultimate hairstyle machine. Flowbee is suitable for both people and pets, and is really a lifetime investment. I've read the testimonials, and they moved me to tears.

Nation, the importance of Hairstyle cannot be underemphasized. Please contact me if I have omitted any important hairstyle developments.

5 comments:

Diana Hulme said...

That Ken hair progression chart is priceless. :)

the testimonials on the flowbee website killed me.

unfortunately, as we discussed earlier, dan did not yield to the flowbee last week so i have yet to see the contraption in action

Kellen said...

When I was young, my mother cut my hair with an actual Flowbee. No joke. In fact when you think about, my Flowbee past explains most of my current psyche.
Also, if you are looking for a cheaper alternative, The "Suck Cut" was a generic flowbee machine advertised on "Wayne's World."

Matt said...

You should definitely call the MTC, they use clippers and a real vacuum.

mal said...

Do they have a really long attachment for differing lengths of long hair? how about a special attachment for layers? does it shampoo? I'm not yet convinced... I could invent something better.

Kellen said...

You really think you can invent something better than the flowbee, mfh, I would LOVE to see it. You mock the flowbee now, but that is because you have never experienced it. The flowbee is better than a brand new puppy. Edison himself would not be able to match it in this day and age. I challenge you to take the flowbee challenge, return to this forum and admit the flowbee rivals Barack Obama on the hope scale.