On Aging

Soon I will be 25 years old, or middle-aged, in other words. When I was young, I thought I'd live forever. Now I am starting to become aware of some of the telltale signs of aging. For example, my affinity for '80s bands I used to despise is growing. I just bought music from both The Police and Depeche Mode. What next? Blondie? Another indication that I am growing old is my increasing cantankerousness (cantankerosity?). I get riled up sometimes about Kids These Days. I feel like the '90s just don't get enough respect. I spend a lot of time thinking about my retirement fund. My main social activity each week consists of playing Rummikub with my roommates. (Parenthetically, our apartment has essentially become an Old Folks' Home, other than the long flight of stairs to get up to it, the lack of three square meals a day, and the absence of surly semi-medical attendants. Dementia, clothing that is both unflattering and unfashionable, and time spent watching the History Channel are all there in abundance.) Jello is becoming more and more appealing as a primary food source. I feel compelled to argue with political commentators on TV. Last night, I believe everyone in our apartment was tucked in bed as of 11:15 PM. So raise a glass and shed a tear for the bygone days of youth. Old age in Provo is upon us.