As per request...

The Legend of Log and Mr. Toilet Paper

So one night when I was in high school, Log was going to bed, and Jord (The Boy) and I were hanging out downstairs. After a while, a voice called out from Log's room, indicating that sleep had not been achieved. Ever the doting older brother, I cracked the door open to check on the kid. He claimed that getting to sleep would be difficult, nay, impossible, unless Ducky was retrieved from upstairs (Ducky, as his name indicates, is the duck component of Log's stuffed animal menagerie). Well, I had no desire to make the trek, and I knew The Boy would be even less eager. My mind raced to find a worthy substitute. Aha! "Log," I said, "a new pal will be joining you tonight." I left him briefly and soon returned from the bathroom, bearing Ducky's sit-in.

"This is Mr. Toilet Paper," I said, handing him the fresh roll I had just pulled from under the bathroom sink. "He's very soft and cuddly, and will be the perfect bunkmate." Log snuggled right up to Mr. Toilet Paper and was soon sleeping angelically. The Boy and I had a good chuckle in the other room, and we both thought that was the end of it. The next day when I got home from work, my mom was waiting for me. "Jae, can you think of any reason why there would be a roll of toilet paper in Logan's bed this morning?" I'm sure her imagination had just gone wild thinking of possible explanations, most of them quite unpleasant, for the roll's presence in Log's bed. I quickly related the tale to my concerned and confused mother, who was relieved and (luckily) amused by the incident.

Log has since learned to be more wary of his older brothers, and I have learned that I probably won't need to buy expensive stuffed animals for my children.

The End