Even Prouder to Be an American

This is sweet. Marvin Gaye performing the national anthem before the 1983 NBA All-Star Game. I've listened to it about 13 times in a row.

Wedding Planner II: Getting Personal

I continue to offer my services as a wedding consultant. While I tailor each wedding to the individuals involved, I have recently begun thinking of my own TBA wedding. Specifically, I've compiled a list of performances I would like to have be a part of the festivities. Tentative program:

1. Mary, Did You Know, performed by Nick Tanner.
2. It's Too Late to Call the Judge, performed by Tyler Madsen, featuring background vocals by my mom.
3. Utah, People Working Together, performed by Pepetonio.
4. I Wanna Be Where the People Are, performed by Laura (& baby Tinsel?).
5. Porque es tan Cruel el Amor?, performed by Dan Whitehead.
6. If I Were the King of the Forest, performed by Uncle Hal.
   
7. The Stars and Stripes Forever, a piano quartet featuring Marie Clarke.
8. Lady in Red (my official wedding song), performed by The Boy, with Is it Any Wonder? as an encore performance.

I believe this should provide for a welcome change in tempo from the majority of wedding luncheons. Am I neglecting anything? Are there any other performances that should be included?

Swagger, Cont'd.

Alert reader and S6 member Matt informed me this morning that I am not the only one who has benefited from this remarkable consumer product:

Swagger in Action

Look Carefully

What they see:

What I see:

Guest Post

As a part of my ongoing quest to broaden my intellectual horizons, I have invited my good friend and noted herpetologist, Jolyn Djibouti Metro, to share a few thoughts this week:

Growing up, the only living creatures that were allowed to live inside of our house (with our knowledge...) besides homo sapiens were reptiles and amphibians. We went through numerous frogs, lizards, and snakes. We learned a lot about metamorphosis by watching the 2-legged "frogs" change into fully developed ones; we learned about adaptation by watching the lizard grow it's severed tail back; and we learned a lot about the life cycle by watching our 6' long gardener snake devour one small white mouse weekly. This provided much hands-on education for us Metro kids, which was probably needed due to the fact that we were homeschooled for a considerable portion of our elementary school years.

I can really only remember two of the lizards that we had, Minnie and Mickey. Minnie died within three days of us purchasing her, just by dying, in her cage, all alone. Her funeral consisted solely of us throwing her in the dumpster outside. That's when we got Mickey. He lasted a much longer time, but his end was much more tragic than Minnie's.

In the particular house that we were living in at the time (8613 Dixie Canyon Court, Antelope, CA 95843 Phone Number (916) 729-1284--just providing proof of my unfailing memory) we had a study which was positioned adjacent to the living room. We used it as our office, and it housed a majority of our books. It was also where we kept our pets. We walked in one day to find my little brother Ben and his friend, Drew Farley, grasping our little Mickey by the tail and hurling him over and over and over across the room against the painfully white double doors that led to the study. Needless to say, he died. Ben, that is. Dad wasn't too pleased with his actions, so Ben got the ax. No, I'm just kidding, Mickey died. And despite the fact that he died in a much more dramatic and heroic way than Minnie, he got the same exact funeral treatment.

Which brings me to the point of this post. Funeral celebrations should be based on the way you die. There is a hierarchy of death that this world is not living up to. Death by old age while at home with all your family surrounding you? That really deserves no celebration at all. Death by flying squirrel? You should at least get a box to sleep in. Death by being caught in the middle of a street shooting? Eulogy provided by 50 Cent.

We need to stop celebrating and encouraging mediocrity, that includes mediocre deaths. Mediocrity is the #1 problem facing the world today, and we're perpetuating it in ways that we don't even realize. Most people recognize the mediocrity that they're pushing in little kids gymnastics class. The kid who can't even do a somersault gets the exact same ribbon as the kid who can do a Mariel 540. This says to the kid, "you don't have to even try to excel, you get the same prize as everyone else." So why aren't people realizing the same thing is said with funerals? If we provide the same type of funerals to everyone, no matter what type of death, we're basically saying, "Yeah, go ahead and don't even try to be a hero and die well. You get the same treatment as all these other people."

So, let's take a stand against the unjust and equal funeral system and start providing people who have died from choking on pretzels with the funeral they deserve: throwing them in the dumpster.
~


Jolyn Djibouti Metro